Mickey Mouse is the Official Dirty Diaper Changer of the Most Infantilized Generation in Human History
“(Mickey Mouse is a) three-fingered son of a bitch who has no soul, for Christ’s sake.”- Charles Bukowski
With Disney’s recent acquisition of the rights to both Marvel Comics and Star Wars on the big screen, The Mouse has triangulated to piss all over a big part of our collective childhoods. More importantly, the target audience is not just children but an epidemic level of coddled adults. This is why I say that Mickey Mouse is the official dirty diaper changer of the most infantilized generation in human history.
Millennials ( and Gen-Xers, for shame!) are facing massive existential threats to all life on Planet Earth: from Radical Islam to Climate Change. But rather than face these challenges head on, they’ve retreated into the comfort of the womb with safe spaces, trigger warnings & cultural relativism. They’ll surely be singing Kumbaya as Rome burns down around them.
And our popular art reflects this naiveté and prolonged adolescence. Substantive cinema of previous generations like The Godfather, Annie Hall, Wall Street, Chinatown, Easy Rider & Unforgiven have been replaced at the box office by shallow children’s tales with loud swooshing noises, steroid-injected human oddities and morally unambiguous superhuman messiah-figures.
What we need now is not a messiah. We need everyday people to roll up their sleeves & face reality. We need artists and philosophers like Charles Bukowski, like Stanley Kubrick, like Sigmund Freud, to kick the Mickey Mouse out of our heads. It’s time to get down to business and advance Western Culture proudly into the 21st century. Disney won’t be the one to do that folks.
Let’s get something straight right now: everything Disney touches is a disposable, empty-calorie, corporate product like Coca-Cola or Lay’s Potato Chips. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with a little escapism in our palate but when the hell did bubblegum become the primary staple of our intellectual diet? I dare you to name a single movie since the turn of the millennium on par with Easy Rider or Blue Velvet. There’ve been some good movies to be sure but we should’ve had at least a few great ones by now (if the blockbusters weren’t eating them alive in their cribs that is).
It doesn't help that the venerated cultural arbiters of taste have been falling into greater and greater irrelevance. The Oscars, for instance, have become a running joke of forgettable propaganda pictures competing over whichever special interest group is worth the most social brownie points that particular year. Maybe this will be the year of the gender-fluid otherkin who overcomes someone insulting them one time in college. Or maybe we'll get more finger-pointing guilt porn about Western Civilization's bloody past. Hollywood writers simply can’t hone their edge on kiddie movies. So when it comes time to confront adult material they fall back into their facile ideological comfort zones rather than ask deeper, more complicated questions. No wonder they prefer to stick with loud, shiny & inoffensive.
So jihadis may be blowing up your countrymen & it’s 70 degrees in December, but never fear! Mickey Mouse promises that you needn’t worry at all. All you have to do is sit back and relax while Captain America and the Jedis swoop in to save the day from some vague and politically correct enemy. Our values will always be championed by these spandex-clad messiahs, after all. And deep down, everything is just a cuddly, soulless three-fingered son-of-a-bitch.